College is not generally a time of great culinary advancements, but today, history was made and what might just be the ultimate college dessert was born:
Part bananas foster.
Part apple pie.
Part bread pudding.
We call it… BanApple Sur-pies
You too can recreate this marvelous delicacy if you have….
- 2 forgotten and almost brown bananas
- 1 green apple you stole from the caf last week
- 4 slices gluten free bread (or 2 slices of regular, not oddly-small bread)
- enough cinnamon for two people to complete “ye olde cinnamon challenge of 2010”
- enough honey to compensate for the lack of actual sugar
- several tablespoons zero-calorie, low-fat (preferably diet) water
- 2-3(ish) tablespoons of the coconut oil you also use as makeup remover
- A stove and sink (preferably in the dorm common area so you can make use of whatever utensils you find lying around)
- A frying pan (preferably your own)
- At least one fork (I had to eat with a knife…) and a knife (two if you do not have enough forks)
- A spatula
- The hunger of a student deep in the “sophomore slump.”
- The blind determination to make something, anything edible by combining the remnants of groceries found in your dorm.
- A partner who understands that “sprinkling” is different than indiscriminately “dumping” when it comes to spices.
- Whipped cream…which by a terrible tragedy arrived too late to be included in this first attempt.
- Slice the bananas. Eat a few when your cooking partner isn’t looking.
- Spread coconut oil in the frying pan and allow to melt over medium heat.
- Place banana slices in pan evenly and allow to sizzle for 1-2 minutes. Turn your face in despair as the bananas become mush instead of beautiful golden crisps.
- As you do so, mix water, honey, and a little cinnamon together in a cup you found left behind (#finderskeepers).
- Flip the bananas over as best as you can and allow the other side to fizzle for another minute or so.
- Drizzle the water mixture over the former banana slices. Panic at your inability to drizzle. Give up and just dump it.
- Look at the weird banana soup you just made. Disgusting. Consider using the sponge you found in the sink to soak up the liquid. Decide that’s a bad idea. Use bread instead.
- Tear the bread into bite-size pieces. Really tear that bread. Take out your anger on the bread. That bread is your midterm and you are going to destroy it.
- Toss the bread remains into the frying pan with the weird banana soup. Poke it with the spatula to see if it moves. Now stir it all together.
- Rejoice with your (optional) cooking partner when the mixture starts to look more like bread pudding than throw-up.
- Accidentally dump more cinnamon onto the mixture. Have the cinnamon confiscated by your partner. Compensate by adding honey when he isn’t looking.
- Hmmmm….stare together at your shapeless creation. Turn down the heat. Both you and the food need to chill out.
- Think with regret that you could have made apple pie. Decide to add chopped apple to your banana no-longer-soup. Close enough.
- Before mixing in the chopped apple pieces, fry them in a tablespoon of coconut oil (enough to remove waterproof mascara) on the opposite side of the pan.
- Now mix them in with the banana stuff.
- Garnish the mixture with more cinnamon and honey until it looks and smells like it will taste good. Believe me, you’ll know.
- Scoop onto a plate and call your roommate. Beg her to bring whipped cream for you to put on top. Lament when she is off campus.
- Make puns to revive your spirits.
- Look with yearning and pride at your creation.
- With or without whipped cream, enjoy your finished “BanApple Sur-pies” with whatever utensils you have on hand. Or, if it comes down to it, your hand.