BanApple Sur-pies: the Ultimate College Dessert

College is not generally a time of great culinary advancements, but today, history was made and what might just be the ultimate college dessert was born:

Part bananas foster.

Part apple pie.

Part bread pudding.

We call it… BanApple Sur-pies

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“Well…it looks good in person.” -Master Chef Josh

You too can recreate this marvelous delicacy if you have….

Ingredients:

  • 2 forgotten and almost brown bananas
  • 1 green apple you stole from the caf last week
  • 4 slices gluten free bread (or 2 slices of regular, not oddly-small bread)
  • enough cinnamon for two people to complete “ye olde cinnamon challenge of 2010”
  • enough honey to compensate for the lack of actual sugar
  • several tablespoons zero-calorie, low-fat (preferably diet) water
  • 2-3(ish) tablespoons of the coconut oil you also use as makeup remover

Materials:

  • A stove and sink (preferably in the dorm common area so you can make use of whatever utensils you find lying around)
  • A frying pan (preferably your own)
  • At least one fork (I had to eat with a knife…) and a knife (two if you do not have enough forks)
  • spatula

Bonus Resources:

  • The hunger of a student deep in the “sophomore slump.”
  • The blind determination to make something, anything edible by combining the remnants of groceries found in your dorm.
  • A partner who understands that “sprinkling” is different than indiscriminately “dumping” when it comes to spices.
  • Whipped cream…which by a terrible tragedy arrived too late to be included in this first attempt.
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“It’s starting to look like something!” – Sous Chef Me

Directions:

  1. Slice the bananas. Eat a few when your cooking partner isn’t looking.
  2. Spread coconut oil in the frying pan and allow to melt over medium heat.
  3. Place banana slices in pan evenly and allow to sizzle for 1-2 minutes. Turn your face in despair as the bananas become mush instead of beautiful golden crisps.
  4. As you do so, mix water, honey, and a little cinnamon together in a cup you found left behind (#finderskeepers).
  5. Flip the bananas over as best as you can and allow the other side to fizzle for another minute or so.
  6. Drizzle the water mixture over the former banana slices. Panic at your inability to drizzle. Give up and just dump it.
  7. Look at the weird banana soup you just made. Disgusting. Consider using the sponge you found in the sink to soak up the liquid. Decide that’s a bad idea. Use bread instead.
  8. Tear the bread into bite-size pieces. Really tear that bread. Take out your anger on the bread. That bread is your midterm and you are going to destroy it.
  9. Toss the bread remains into the frying pan with the weird banana soup. Poke it with the spatula to see if it moves. Now stir it all together.
  10. Rejoice with your (optional) cooking partner when the mixture starts to look more like bread pudding than throw-up.
  11. Accidentally dump more cinnamon onto the mixture. Have the cinnamon confiscated by your partner. Compensate by adding honey when he isn’t looking.
  12. Hmmmm….stare together at your shapeless creation. Turn down the heat. Both you and the food need to chill out.
  13. Think with regret that you could have made apple pie. Decide to add chopped apple to your banana no-longer-soup. Close enough.
  14. Before mixing in the chopped apple pieces, fry them in a tablespoon of coconut oil (enough to remove waterproof mascara) on the opposite side of the pan.
  15. Now mix them in with the banana stuff.
  16. Garnish the mixture with more cinnamon and honey until it looks and smells like it will taste good. Believe me, you’ll know.
  17. Scoop onto a plate and call your roommate. Beg her to bring whipped cream for you to put on top. Lament when she is off campus.
  18. Make puns to revive your spirits.
  19. Look with yearning and pride at your creation.
  20. With or without whipped cream, enjoy your finished “BanApple Sur-pies” with whatever utensils you have on hand. Or, if it comes down to it, your hand.
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We were a little afraid to try it…but it was sooooo worth it.

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It ended up being so good, we were in anguish when we dropped a single piece. (Also that girl with the meme-worthy face is 100% not me….)

Cookie-ception Cookies

Fresh out of the oven and smelling like some heavenly combination of Christmas, Willy Wonka's factory, and grandma's kitchen.

Fresh out of the oven and smelling like some heavenly combination of Christmas, Willy Wonka’s factory, and grandma’s kitchen.

One of my friends who knows more about movies than I do informed me that “Inception” does not actually refer to having one thing within itself but rather having a story begin at the end (or something like that) and that my cookies more accurately could be compared to nesting dolls, with one thing holding a smaller version of that same thing. However, “Nesting Doll Cookies” does not have the same ring to it as “Cookie-ception Cookies” does. In fact, “Nesting Doll Cookies” sound absolutely disgusting. I toyed around with calling this recipe “Procrastination Cookies” since I invented it rather than finishing my AP Literature essay, but as I found out this week that my teacher reads my blog, I figured it would be wiser not to give this post such a self-incriminating title. (To my teacher: If you are reading this, I promise that I will complete my essay and also bring you a cookie.)

Anyway, enough rambling. These are the most guiltily, scrumptiously delicious cookies I have ever made, and I’m not just saying that because they were produced by a recipe of my own devising. They combine two of my favorite dessert flavors: Speculoos Cookie Butter (or Biscoff if you prefer, but I will readily admit my brand loyalty to Speculoos and Trader Joe’s) and, of course, chocolate, plus a not-so-secret ingredient that makes them light and fluffy.

Note: I doubled the recipe, but this makes a ridiculous amount of cookies (more than 4 dozen depending on how you scoop them) so consider halving it. Of course, the more dough you make, the less you can bake, and the more you get to eat raw!

Prep time: 20-30 minutes

Ingredients:

You cannot bottle happiness, but apparently you can package it in a jar...

You cannot bottle happiness, but apparently you can package it in a jar…

  • 1 cup butter, softened
  • 1 heaping cup creamy Cookie Butter (make sure it really is heaping) 
  • 2 cups sugar
  • 2 cups brown sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 1-2 tsp vanilla
  • 2 1/2 cups flour
  • 1 1/2 tsp. baking soda
  • 1 tsp. salt
  • 1 tsp. baking powder
  • 3/4 cup dry pudding mix (just vanilla)
  • 2 cups chocolate chips (preferably semi-sweet)

Instructions:

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit
  2. Cream together the softened butter and Cookie Butter
  3. Add sugar, brown sugar, eggs, and vanilla; cream with the butter and Cookie Butter
  4. Stir together flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and pudding mix
  5. Beat the dry mixture into the creamed mixture
  6. Fold in the chocolate chips
  7. Bake balls of dough on ungreased baking sheet for 10-12 minutes
  8. Let cookies residual bake out of the oven until they can be removed from the baking sheet; in the meantime, eat some dough. Or maybe a lot of dough.
  9. Eat cookies.
Need I say anything? Just look at that yumminess.

Need I say anything? Just look at that yumminess.

I hope you enjoy this recipe! I know I did;  making and then baking this recipe was a fantastic way to unwind after a looooooong week of exams and concerts, so I definitely encourage any other busy reader to reverse “stressed” to get “desserts” with Cookie-ception Cookies.